Picture it: you're on your way to work on a gorgeous Fall morning. The birds are a-singing, the sun is a-shining and all appears to be well in your little piece of the universe.
And then it happens; the asshole who overslept appears in your rear-view mirror and he's gaining......FAST!
The birds have stopped their chorus of melody; the sun has raced behind the nearest cloud in preparation for what is about to come, and your knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. What is about to happen can only be described as Road Rage. Your pupils dilate; your heart rate increases, sending adrenaline coursing through your body; you are at Defcon 5. Your vision narrows, forming the perfect tunnel through which to run this jackwad right off the road if he even THINKS about trying to pass you!!!
But then you have a moment of reality and come to understand that you're not driving the Porsche 911 turbo that you often dream of. Oh no dear friend! You are, in fact, driving your 1999 Ford Explorer XLT, which has about as much road grip and handling as a Mexican burro. Dammit!!!
Oh well, Mario Andretti would be please with you mental preparation anyway....
So back to Billy Bob Duchebag.....he's gaining and gaining quickly. You are already in the "fast" lane and traveling at a rate of speed that could qualify you for next year's Indy 500; why in the hell should YOU move? But Billy Bob keeps coming; HE wants you go faster. Now understand, that HE has no problem going faster in his gigantic 4x4 super crew cab pick-em-up truck! You take a quick glance over to see just exactly what you're dealing with...YEP! The motherfucker's got a Hemi in it!
So, at this point you understand that you essentially have three choices:
(1) you can speed up to just below the speed of sound and try to figure out just how fast ol' Billy Bob wants to go
(2) You can tap your brakes ever-so-lightly as he continues to gain on you. In doing this you will undoubtedly discover just how late to work he is. If he wants to kick the shit out of you right there on Pellidega Parkway, then he's not THAT late.
(3) You can move over to the right-hand lane and let this jackass pass you and harass the person in line.
You do the wise thing and move over into the right-hand "slow" lane and let him pass; which he does with amazing agility. Damn! Those trucks move well for a big man! But now you're in the "slow" lane....Oh dear god! What have you done? You quickly decide to get your ass back into the "fast" lane since that's where the cool people hang out. Man, you really hate the "slow" lane don't you?
Why do we hate being passed so? Is it just me? Actually, I think that it is JUST me? I think I still have issues from taking my driver's license test back in '86. My instructor that day was just a bitch who had no sense of humor at all.....
Oh well.......work calls
