On August 28th, current IBA (???) heavyweight champ James "Lights Out" Toney makes his MMA debut when he steps into the Octagon with UFC Hall-of Famer, Randy "The Natural" Couture in a cross-over bout that is sure to have both the boxing and MMA worlds glued to the TV set. Toney brings with him an impressive career record of 80-6, a big mouth, and a nice case of early-stage dementia. I have been thinking about this fight for some time, and have decided to weigh in on why James Toney is bad for the UFC and for mixed martial arts in general.
First, fighting James Toney has absolutely no ramifications within the UFC. He holds no title, he is well past his prime in the boxing world, and even when Couture does beat him, all he will be doing is humiliating a washed up former boxer who should have a blue handicapped driver tag swinging from his rear-view mirror. There's nothing to gain from this fight. What? You actually think that losing his first, and only MMA fight is going to shut this clown up? I think not.
Second, what if he dies in the ring? Seriously, have you heard this man try to form complete sentences? I mean, I know he's from Detroit, but damn! He's worse than Big John Tate, and John was illiterate. Toney has spoken about the fighters in the UFC having never been hit by a professional boxer with 4 ounce gloves before; NEWSFLASH: Toney has never been hit with 4 ounce gloves before either! And the way his noodle is dangling ever so slightly from the brain stem, one good shot is all it would take to send him on the his maker.
Third, this makes the UFC look like a sideshow. This is the very thing that Dana White has worked to erase; the "human cock-fighting" label that so many ignorant politicians place on MMA. White has said himself that it's a "freak show". Although I will be watching closely, I feel that it will set MMA back a couple of years.
Lastly, there's the massive issue of Toney's mouth. As previously mentioned, he's not going to shut up! I don't know if it's possible for him to stop talking. Hot air has to go somewhere, right? He guy simply WILL NOT stop talking. And for the love of all that is righteous and holy, you media types, stop sticking a mic in this idiot's face every other day so the rest of can get some rest. My brain hurts when I listen to him speak, because I cannot translate, with any accuracy, the native tongue in which he speaks. Guess I need to brush up on my Detroitese....
Couture will destroy James Toney, most likely in the second round. He will try some dirty boxing, which Toney is very skilled at defending, and when that doesn't work, he will plant him firmly on his back and proceed to dislodge the aforementioned noodle from brain stem. Good night James, I wish I could say it's been nice knowing you, but we all know that would be less than truthful.
