Wednesday 13 March 2013

Slot Players and their Quirks

Weekend Entertainment will be pushed to tomorrow for this very important announcement.

A HIGH PERCENTAGE OF SLOTS PLAYERS are quirky, crazy and/or just plain NUTS!!!

Recently, I visited a local casino - 2x points, COOL!

In the short time I was there, the crazy quirks of slot players were all around me - so distracting, amazingly entertaining, and incredibly ANNOYING!  Here are a few of the varios slot players that we find around us at any given casino visit:

#1 The Slapper - "yes!," I said to myself.  "Hit it harder show it you mean bussiness!  Maybe you can dislocate your finger or break the machine in the process!"         SO ANNOYING!

#2 The Pre-Melodic Player - This is the person who hits all the "#of lines" buttons, composing the beautiful sounds of the slot symphony, before they push the bet button.  "ding, doing, donk, ping, pang, etc....."  are some the sounds - I know you've heard it before.  Sometimes well composed like that annoying song on the radio played over and over and over.  Other times, they mix it up - you know to fake out the machine as they improvise the melody.      PLEASE STOP!  IT DOES NOTHING except to be SO ANNOYING!

#3 The Bitter "Just my luck" Player - Oh yes, you know the kind.  They play the machine on your right,  lose quickly, move to the machine to your left while somebody else takes their previous seat on your right.  The new person on your right hits the bonus immediately.  Uh-oh, here it comes....... The person on your left says to you quietly, so the person on your right does really hear (as if I Care!) "I just left that machine - so typical, NOW it gets hot - I hate this place!"  blah, blah, blah - get over it!  I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR SOURPUSS ATTITUDE!  IF YOU'RE UNHAPPY - LEAVE!  YOU KNOW WHY? - BECAUSE YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!

Finally
#4 - The Card Switcher - It is inevitable to sit next to someone who has to switch their players card if they git a winning streak or losing steak.  In and out, in and out.  WHY?  The machine doesn't care, it doesn't know the difference - IT'S A MACHINE!!!  You can't fake it out - IT DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN - IT DOESN'T HAVE AN OPINION - IT'S A MACHINE!!!!  And to everyone else, IT'S JUST SO ANNOYING!!!!

Now, take a deep breath close your eyes and repeat after me.....
"I Have no control over the RNG, "I Have no control over the RNG, "I Have no control over the RNG, "I Have no control over the RNG..........

There, now doesn't that feel better?

That's all for now. 

Binbin