Do you ever wonder why kids aren’t allowed to lose any more? Let that marinate in your mind for just a second….
Think about the last time you were at a youth sporting event; did you notice that EVERYONE got a “participation” trophy? If you have doubts, I can assure that they did, even the kid who always plays right field in little league. The kid that the coach did not want to put in the game, but had to according to league rules; yep, that kid got a trophy too.
Why is failing such a feared thing in our society today? Isn’t that where life’s greatest lessons come from? As toddlers, we didn’t learn that the stove was hot just because Mom or Dad said it was; we had to touch it to find out for ourselves that it hurt like hell and then made a mental note to not do it again. That’s failing. The first time we played catch and got hit in the nose with the baseball, or even worse took one right in the package (for my male readers), we failed to catch the ball and paid the price for it. However, we also learned that if we catch the ball when it’s thrown to us, the likelihood of getting a broken nose decreases drastically. We learn when we fail.
Another part of failing is learning to deal with failure. Life is a series of interconnected failures and subsequent successes, and if we are never taught or allowed to experience that horrible, dreaded feeling, we are ill prepared to live in the world today. Failing does not make one a failure at life overall. It makes us stronger; more determined to succeed at whatever it is we’re attempting. Bill Gates failed in his first business venture; Walt Disney was fired from one of his first cartoon artist jobs because, they said, he was not creative enough, and Joe Montana was told from 10-years-old that he was too slow, and that his arm wasn’t strong enough. All Bill Gates did was found a computer empire; Walt Disney became synonymous with animated movies; and Joe Montana in the Pro Football Hall of Fame with three Super Bowl Championships. They all were allowed to fail and they learned from it and came back stronger.
So why is it that we are completely petrified of letting our kids fail every now and again? When is the last time you even heard of a kid failing an entire grade level? Are we doing them justice by passing them on though the system without having the base that they need to succeed? Those of you reading this only know that it’s only going to get more difficult once they’re out of school.
I guess the big question then, is why does everyone get a trophy? What’s the point of having 1st, 2nd and 3rd place if we ALL get a stinking trophy? We’re not doing our kids any favors here folks. In the real world, in the business world, if you don’t sell you get fired; there are no points for 2nd place. If you don’t (or can’t) do your job, the owner will find somebody who can. That’s the reality of life, and by giving “participation trophies” we are crippling our children, and failing to allow them to fail and recover and learn to overcome obstacles.
