A buddy of mine requested that I give some thoughts and opinions on the tats sported by players in the Association. Now for full disclosure, I have ink and plan to get more, and I hate professional basketball, because most teams have their stud all-star and then 9 supporting role players, and that bores me to tears. That said, I believe that I can be impartial with regard to some of the artwork on display on the hardwood.
Since I refuse to watch the Association, except for the finals, I had to do some online research to view some of the more “interesting” tattoos that players have. Now please understand that there is no right or wrong way to design or wear a tattoo; that’s what makes it beautiful and unique. But even someone who loves the art form, as I do, has to see some comedy in some of the things that these dudes put (permanently) on their bodies. Each tattoo has a story or some significance to its owner, making it one of a kind.
So during my research I discovered several “bad” tattoos that deserve our attention. First there’s Stephon Marbury who has the logo from his discount shoe line tattooed on his naked skull. Bro, I get that you’re trying to pimp your stuff to kids who can’t pay what Bron and Kobe are asking for a pair with their name on it, but you should not tattoo a logo, even if it’s YOUR logo to your naked skull. That is unless you’re planning on growing your hair back any time soon if the kicks don’t take off.
Any time someone gets a tat in a language other than their native tongue, it’s a really bad idea. (Unless, of course, your are fluent in that particular language) What’s an n even worse idea is to get the tat in a foreign language and appear on national TV several times per month. Shawn Marion is just this type of knucklehead. He got a tattoo on his calf, in Chinese no doubt, that was supposed to be translated, “The Matrix”, Marion’s nickname. As it turns out, according to reports, it actually means “smelly duck balls”. Those sneaky Chinamen….
Lastly, we have exhibit C; Chris Anderson, lovingly referred to as “The Bird Man”. (Chris, I really don’t think that’s a term of endearment) Now as if this clown’s hair and sleeved arms weren’t enough of a distraction to anyone actually watching his team play, he took the nickname thing to a whole new level when he got red birds wings ink’d under his biceps, so when he spreads his arms it actually looks like he has wings. Granted, in relation to the size of his frame, it looks like he ganked the wings from a hummingbird, but let’s not split hairs. Chris, if you’re known more for your ink than your game; you suck. Not my opinion, just common sports knowledge.
So in closing, let’s do a quick review of what we’ve learned today……
First, logos on your body, even if it’s your logo is a very bad idea. What happens when you sell the company to some North Korean investment firm? Now you’re sporting their logo. (Logos on the naked skull earns even fewer style points) Second, if you’re going to get a tattoo with language other the language you speak on a daily basis; get a second or third translation before putting ink to skin. And lastly, if you’re a token white dude in The Association, and your nickname is “Birdman”, just smile, keep your head down, and play to the best of your abilities; the fellas will understand. They’re honestly not expecting THAT much of a contribution from you to begin with.
Go ‘head on and get your ink fellas, just remember to think twice……we’ll be watching!
