Randy Coulture left absolutely no doubt that boxers who feel that they can walk directly into MMA and have the slightest hope to win a fight are sadly mistaken. It took him a mere 40 seconds to take boxing legend James Toney to the ground. From that point forward, you can pretty much guess at how the fight went. Coulture proceeded to pound the boxing champ in ways Toney had never imagined. I do not like James Toney; I never have. I've followed his career ever since he came on the boxing scene and weighed only 180. He can slug with the best of them, and had Coulture attempted to stand and trade with him, I think there would have been a much different outcome. And props to Toney for being the the first big-mouth boxer to have the stones to step inside the Octagon and try to back up what he was spewing. "The Natural" stated time and time again leading up to this fight; "This isn't a boxing match, it's a mixed martial arts match." Apparently Toney was not listening. Coulture slapped on an arm-in choke and Toney tapped out. He quit.....So he got his 15 minutes of continued fame. He's been cut from the UFC roster and the mixed martial artists in the league will continue to wait for the next big-mouth from boxing to step over the line and into the Octagon. Think very long and hard before you do boys.....consciousness goes quickly. A world-class boxer has absolutely no business getting into the cage with an MMA fighter, any more than an MMA fighter has any business getting into the ring with a pure boxer. They're two completely different sports; just like football and baseball. Forever shall they remain separate.
Headline in today's USA Today sports section: "Tiger fires 6-under 65 at Barclays; best round of the year." Hmmmm let's see now, Eldrick got divorced yesterday and shoots his best score all year today. Coincidence? I think not! He should've left that hag years ago if this is the result. You know Golf Chanel, ESPN, ABC, NBC, and CBS are happy he's divorced. They finally have something current to talk about.Pitching great Roger Clemons will be arraigned in Washington, D.C. Monday on charges that he lied to Congress about his use of steroids. If you've been following this story at all, Roger is either the dumbest man on planet earth, or he's truly never done steriods. I suppose it's possible he's both.The Colorado Rockies came from 9 runs down to beat the hated Atlanta Braves. (This is n't really anything huge, I just hate the Braves)Jim Furyk, a top-10 golfer in the world was disqualified from this week's Barclays Open after oversleeping and missing his tee time for the pro-am on Monday. What the hell Jim! You're a professional golfer! Don't you have people to wake you up in the morning? I'm a big Furyk fan, but this one's squarely on him.Darrelle Revis wants a new contract or he's going to take his toys and go home.....OKUFC It's boxing vs. MMA as James "Lights Out" Toney fights Randy "The Natural" Coulture in a fight that all of MMA has been witing for. Now for transparancy, I hate James Toney; always have. I've been a fight fan for most of my life and I can honestly say that I cannot stand that dude. I think Toney will land some shots, but it won't be enough as The Natural takes him down and grounds him into hamburger. Lights out, James!
As I was dusting my coffee table today, I took a long, hard look at the scratches, gashes, and gouges that it bore from doing battle with my children. And I came to (finally) understand that as long as a parent has children that live in the same house as the parent; the parent will NEVER have anything nice!
Now I love all four of my kids with all that is in me, but damn, they sure can tear up stuff faster than I can replace it. From taking my tools to dig up earth worms, to spray painting the brick retaining wall outside my house, there literally seems to be no end in sight. I understand now why my Dad used to get so angry when my brother and I used his tools for “exploring”. (I have become my father)
So as I continued dusting the battle-weary coffee table, I thought I might put together a list, a “top 10” list as it were, of reasons why parents will never have nice things as long as the kids are around. So here we go….
10. If you, as a parent, have a flat vertical surface in or around your home, your children will find that 6-year-old can of spray paint that you used to re-do the patio furniture and proceed to paint their names in 500-font letters on said flat vertical surface. You would think that Leonardo DiVinci himself painted it.
9. It is a virtual guarantee that once you have finished cleaning your garage/workshop that your little angels will locate the saw dust from a recent home improvement project and scatter the saw dust all over creation; which includes your recently cleaned garage/workshop.
8. If you are fortunate enough to have a teenage daughter residing in your home, you will notice that when she uses your wife’s $200 flat iron, that she either forgets to unplug it, or leaves it lying on the bathroom sink, causing nice marks that are the same color of the flat iron. (In my case; purple) You will also find that there’s not an industrial strength cleaner powerful enough to remove these marks. Kind of like permanent skid marks.
7. Your amazingly bright children will also very likely use the inside panel of the car door to close said door, instead of the handle that was placed on the door by General Motors for the sole purpose of closing the rear car door. This will cause the door panel to be summarily ripped from its foundation, never to return to proper working order again.
6. As the little blessings from heaven are playing hide-and-seek inside the house, they will climb over, and eventually break the supports that are in the furniture. Please not that you will not realize this until the attempt to lean back in the broken chair. They will also very likely tear doors out of the wall in which they were nailed with a pneumatic nail gun with no less than 200 pounds per square inch of pressure.
5. With the precision and accuracy of Ty Pennington, your children will proceed to staple various random items to solid oak furniture for no good reason. This task will likely be performed by your youngest child, and won’t be discovered until your wife finds the “artwork” the following day while picking up the clothes that your children left on the floor from the previous night.
4. While practicing good oral hygiene, your children will, without thought, completely miss their toothbrush with the toothpaste and squarely hit the wall, toilet, sink, shower curtain, faucet; nearly everything in the bathroom except their toothbrush. Bless ‘em Lord.
3. These fearless hunters, in order to secure some tasty venison, will concoct the most foul-smelling, God-awful, mess that has ever been seen or described. It will consist of deer bait, syrup, saltine crackers, and an unidentifiable meaty substance. They will then hide the compound in a cardboard box in the closet of their respective rooms so that, heaven forbid, a deer doesn’t sneak into our humble abode and steal it.
2. In order to unearth treasures long ago hidden by Mother Nature, your children will undoubtedly use your only (and best) hammer to pound the rock-hard red clay in your back yard. Of course the only thing that they will locate underneath the soil will be good ol’ limestone. Bye-bye hammer; hello Home Depot.
1. Last, but certainly not least of all, your precious babies will place their grimy hands all over any window that they detect has been cleaned within the past two days. This will include car windows, storm door windows, mirrors of any and all shapes, and of course, computer screens.
I’m taking a small detour in this week’s posting. I normally rant about politics, sports and the like, but this week, I’m going to rant about something very personal to me; psoriasis. Yes! That’s right! I’m going to deal specifically with plaque psoriasis; the particular brand of crap that I’ve had attached to my body since late 2000. This stuff is a complete and total pain in the ass. Now before I get into this thing, I’m not complaining….well, o.k. actually I am complaining. But I fully understand that things could be so much worse. I’m not lying in the hospital awaiting a kidney or death; whoever shows up first. I don’t have cancer, and as far as I know, my colon is clean as a whistle. So I’m not trying to say my lemon is bigger than your lemon; because it likely is not. But that doesn’t make it suck any less!
Psoriasis is an immune disorder where the skin cells are trying to fight off an infection that doesn’t exist. Thus, I get large, and sometimes painful, scaly patches anywhere there’s friction. Friction, of any type or frequency to one suffering from psoriasis is like sandpaper. There’s no cure for it, and no one seems to know how it is acquired; though it is hereditary.
Sometimes, as I lie in bed, I find myself wondering why I have to deal with this crap. Is God punishing me for some past sin? (Good luck narrowing it down to just one) Am I cursed? Why me? I have yet to find the answer to that question, and may never find it. All I know is that psoriasis sucks! The injections that I normally take are insanely expensive ($3000 per month), the creme that provides some relief gets all over everything I touch, and if I don’t treat the patches with something, they will pitch a fit, and crack and bleed. Nice, I know….
Socially, it doesn’t bother me at all, and often makes a very nice ice-breaker at parties and tailgating events. It usually goes something like this: “Chris, good to see you and Tammy. It’s been a long time man. How are things going with……what the hell is that growing on your elbow? Is that leprosy? Did we shake hands when you first got here?” It only makes me uncomfortable when I notice strangers eyeballing it, struggling to determine what it is. I feel sorry for them. I can even begin to imagine what it must be like for someone with a serious physical deformity; like three eyes, or six fingers on one hand.
Luckily, I am married to a great woman who doesn’t love me for my dashing good looks alone. She has actually taken the time to treat the patches I can’t reach or can’t see with my creme. Believe me, it ain’t all roses and gumdrops in some of those areas! She’s in the health care field, so it’s a very big deal to her at all. (Love ya’ baby!)
So the next time you see me, and you happen to notice that there’s a scaly red patch on my elbow or scalp, just politely ask what it is, and let’s get on with the tailgating! Didn’t your Momma teach you not to stare?
Will the Big Orange ever be free of Lane Kiffin and his antics? From this fans point-of-view, it certainly doesn't seem like it. Bryce Brown is set to be interviewed by the NCAA who continues to track the comings and goings of Kiffin. His current employer, U.S.C., has already fired their athletic director, and been hit with severe sanctions for violations that occurred while Kiffin was an assistant under Pete Carroll. Carroll obviously saw the writing on the wall and bolted for the relative safety of the NFL. How quickly did that guy leave town? But in this particular saga there's another twist; Brown previously asked for, and was summarily refused a transfer to Kansas State, where his brother is currently enrolled. U.T. Head coach Derek Dooley denied the request for reason that, quite frankly, make little sense to me. I guess I'd need some old fashioned lawyering to better understand his reasons. Just know this, that on the outside of the Cumberland Strip in K-Town, his refusal to let Brown transfer looks bad. Worse, it looks petty. Arthur Brown, Bryce's father has postponed the interview with the NCAA until after he hears back from his son's appeal to overturn the transfer denial. Now that sound like it could be a finely veiled threat? It's as plain as the mole on Cindy Crawford's face! Arthur Brown is using the NCAA to improve the position of his son's appeal to play football at Kansas State! Brilliant! As a Vol fan I don't like this play, but as a father, I would likely do the same thing if I were in his shoes.Regardless of how this thing plays out, Lane Kiffin is every bit the curse that crazy man Al Davis said he would be. Davis' prophetic ability is at least good enough to get him a carny job at the local fair when it blows through town. He warned us, and we failed to heed the warning, mostly because....well.....Al Davis is a complete nut job. Kiffin has drained our beloved football program of its dignity, its integrity, and its morality (if it ever had any). Let's hope that Coach Dooley can get it back on track.How good does Phil Fulmer look right now as head coach?
This article comes to us courtesy of Clay Travis of Fanhouse.comAwesome!!!Coach
