Quote of The Week

"Sincereity is vastly overrated; Hitler was sincere, and Osama bin Laden is too."
                                                                                                                    The Coach

The Dream Is Over

The magic finally ran out for the U.S. Men's soccer team this afternoon as they feel to Ghana 2-1 in extra time. The were forced, once again, to come back after giving up an early goal only 6 minutes into the match. This concession of early goals will be seen as their ultimate downfall. After staging a heroic, and unlikely, comeback against Algeria to win their group, the U.S. team, I feel, was spent,both physically and emotionally. As the old saying goes, "You can only go to the well so many times before it dries up."
The Team played beautifully in most of the matches, although playing from behind in all but one match will take its toll on the best of teams. I am proud of our National Team and I hope that they are welcomed home, with heads held high, as excellent representatives of all that is good in America.
Well done gents! My days will be much longer withut having you to cheer for, but I'm proud of our national soccer team!

Greatest Goal in U.S. soccer history!!!

Unemployment Sucks!

For those of you who have had a job continuously for the past several years; congratulations! Because I'm here to tell you that unemployment sucks! It was kinda cool at first; kinda' like an extended vacation. But then reality sets in and you begin to understand that just because you no longer have gainful employment, the bills do not stop coming! The child support meter is running faster than a New York cabbie. People are on your hard about this, that, and the other thing; "when you gonna pay me?"
Shit....when I get a job and start getting paid, that's exactly the same time frame that you'll start getting paid again.
I have gotten alot done around the house; certainly more than I would have if I had a job. It's bittersweet; I like staying at home and taking care of things, keeping the house clean....but that carp don't pay the damn bills, which never seem to end. I truly believe that we work just so we can pay bills. One of my cars is down right now, and paying for hat damn thing should be a whole lot of fun when the bill comes due. It just seems like there's no way out of this thing. Maybe I should just go win the lottery and say "to hell with all of it!"

Colonel Frank Slade

Where The Hell is Everybody?

Does anybody read this fucking thing? If so, how 'bout some damn feedback? If not, I'll go find something else to do.....

Tiger's REAL Apology

OMG...The Bikinis

Here’s the scene; you’re at the local swimming pool. You’re chillin’ with the family, taking the occasional dip into the giant toilet otherwise known as the swimming pool. It’s a warm June day; a bit humid, but tolerable. People are beginning to file in and before you realize it, you are literally surrounded by chicks far too large and egg-shaped to be in a two-piece bikini.



This happened to my family this afternoon so, of course, I had to blog about it. Now I have nothing against fat chicks going to the local pee hole. Do your thang gal, but how about covering your cottage cheese-ridden ass for the rest of us in attendance? They make bathing suits for “full-figured” gals like you; I’ve seen them. Seriously, I want to say them, “You look like a hot dog that’s been nuked too long!” There’s stuff overflowing everywhere, and most of it in places it shouldn’t be overflowing.


It’s not even that they show up in public looking like a stuffed sausage, it’s that, at some point in the bikini-buying-process, she looked at her backside in the mirror and said, “Oh yeah! That looks really good!” Huh? Don’t girls always go shopping with at least one other female? Isn’t that like a written rule in the book of feminine rules for life? I think it’s located just above rule #8 which states that all females must have at least one other female partner in order to go pee in a public restroom. Anyway, does the obligatory shopping friend not have the moral responsibility to tell her bikini-clad pear the truth about the bathing suit? I understand that mirrors seldom lie, but apparently so does the shopping buddy.

Honesty of self is difficult to swallow, I know. But if you wouldn’t swallow every piece of food that come within 200 yards of you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. Somewhere along the line there must be a bikini intervention. Sales clerk, just say no!


This goes for the guys too! Not just the freaks kickin’ the Speedos either! If you haven’t gotten off the couch in the past two weeks other than to drop a deuce or to stuff your pie hole, do us all a favor, stay away from the public pool. I have small children. So I’ve developed a few “suggestions” with regard to public swimming pool attire, especially bikinis.


1. If your have 2 boobs coming and 2 boobs going; that’s too many boobs.


2. I’m not completely certain about the percentage of one’s body that cannot be “back-fat”, but someone should determine what the public exposure limit should be.


3. If the back of your legs look like a new container of Mayfield’s cottage cheese, skip the bikini and the pool. Go to the gym instead.


4. If your gut covers the top 1/2 of your bikini bottoms, or swim trunks, skip the pool and your next 4 meals.


5. If you’re rockin’ the new rebel flag swim suit from Pigeon Forge, TN….you’re officially a redneck. Please don’t spit your ‘backer juice in the pool.


6. Ladies, horizontal stripes only work on runway models and bulimics; go vertical.


7. Lastly, if you have to pull your stomach “up” to find the best spot for your navel piercing, you probably don’t need one.


Look, I’m no Adonis, but if I were 800 lbs. I would keep both of my asses at the gym until I was suitable to make an appearance at the local swimming hole. Help me help you, pear-shaped-chick in the bikini.

Border Wars

Is it just me, or is America the ONLY country on the blue marble with border issues? (i.e. illegal immigrants) I was listening to a discussion about this topic on Hallerin Hill's morning radio show, as President Obama is set to meet with the governor of Arizona, Jan Brewer. The meeting will play out to be little more than a photo op for both parties. "If they're not going to enforce the law in America, we're going to enforce it in Arizona", Brewer has been quoted as saying.


Which leads me to my question du jour; why doesn't America defend its borders any more than we do? Think about it for a moment. The arguement that I always seem to encounter is, "there's labor that needs to be done that American citizens won't d because it's beneath them, so we hire illegals to do it." Bullshit. The reason, the only reason that illegals are hired is because they will work for cheap. Hell, they have to work for cheap, because even if they knew better than to work for $5 an hour, who are they going to complain to? Are they going to drive to their local Better Business Bureau and file a complaint? Doubtful. It's all about money and always will be about money, so please don't insult our intelligence by making up some erroneous story.


I also wonder to myself, "Self", I say, "Why is it that the main argument for universal healthcare (see socialist healthcare) is that 'every other industrialized nation except for the U.S. does it'"? Why don't we apply that very same logic to our borders? Ever hear of anyone trying to sneak into North Korea? Hell no you don't. (not that anyone would freely go there) How about Iran, Turkey, or pretty much any other middle eastern country of your choosing? Unless your name is Osama bin Laden, you cannot just cross into another country without proper documentation. In Nicaragua, you can't even leave the country unless you are going abroad to study.


So since Arizona seems to be the only southern border state with the huevos to do what the American government refuses to do, lets do this; close the border altogether! Yep, you heard me! Close it. POst a damn "No vacancy" sign in bright neon letters every hundred yeards or so. We really don't need anymore people here. We're good, really.


You want to lower healthcare costs? Close the border
You want to lower crime in the southwestern U.S.? Close the border
You want to cut drug trafficing by 65%? Close the border
Just close the stupid thing, shoot anyone atempting to cross it and worry about the paperwork later.