Everybody's All-American

• National Hot 100


• East Hot 100


• Army All-American


• Scout.com #4 Quarterback Ranking

Sound like anyone you know? No? Didn't think so, at least not since Mr. Manning left Knoxville. Well, unfortunately, it's our very own Jonathon "Captain Neuro" Crompton. These are just some of his many accolades as a high school senior in 2004.

So what the hell happen to our hero in the way to K-Town? Was he abducted by aliens? I mean, we all understand that Phat Phil couldn't do shit with a QB recruit unless Diamond David Cutliff was standing nearby, but how do you miss this badly on a recruit? Gawd people!! Talk about a transformation of the nastiest kind.

J.C. was rated the #4 QB prospect in the nation, had any number of colleges begging to have him come play for them and then POOF!! He arrives in Knoxville and sits and watches Eric Ainge do his thing - whatever HIS thing was. Now I'm certainly not a psychologist, though I play one on the Internet and I honestly think that Crompton thought he was going to come to U.T., take over the reigns as a freshman, win an SEC championship, and possibly a Heisman. But he forgot that Phat Phil doesn't play freshman, even those that are endorsed by ol' Turf Toe Heath. I think that since going through four offensive coordinators in the same number of years, that J.C.'s mental stability packed its fucking bags and went back home. So now, what U.T. (and the fans) are left with is a QB who "has all the physical tools" you could want and a QB "who practices well but it does not transfer into actual games". Huh?

O.K. Let me break this down for you, snowball.....practice is a necessary evil, I get that, but if you practice like Joe Montana, and play like Joe Shit the Rag Man (see J. Crompton) I'm going to pull your sorry ass, and put in the next greatest thing since sliced bread and let him take a crack at completing 50% of his passes.

I'm sure that J.C. is a great guy. Hell, I'd sit and drink some beers with him if the opportunity presented itself, but he cannot now, nor will he EVER be cut out to be an SEC QB.

Make the switch Coach Kiff! This guy is singlehandedly costing us the 2009 season. It really makes me wonder, as a fan, just how shitty is Nick Stephens that Coach Kiff feels that J. Crompton is our best quarterback we've got! Holy Shit!!

Superman Finds His Kryptonite

Timmy gets knocked the fuck out!!!! Bye-bye national championship, and Heisman Trophy, and SEC Championship, and 2009 season.......

(CLICK ON TITLE FOR A VIDEO)

U.T. beats Ohio U.....Who Cares???

If you were to listen very closely to the pay-per-view telecast of U.T.’s 36-24 win over Ohio University last night, you could make out the distinct sound of a large gasp every time that Jonathon Crompton dropped back to pass. Individually, I think “Aww hell!!” each time it happens….but I don’t have the confidence in Crompton that Coach Kiffin apparently does.
U.T won last night, but does anybody really care? It was Ohio University for crying out loud. Next week is Auburn and Georgia after that. Now the games start to matter. Anyone care to wager on the number of interceptions that “Captain Neuro” throws next week? I’m guessing that the over-under will be somewhere in the neighborhood of 3. How in the hell was this dude ranked higher than Matt Stafford, Greg McElroy, AND Sam Bradford coming out of high school? Of course none of those other cats don’t suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Hellloooooo Nick Stephens! If Crompton falls apart in these next two SEC games, Kiffin really will have no choice but to bring in the skinny kid from Flower Mound.
The defense was stellar, as usual, but for god’s sake, how do we allow Ray Ray to pass for over 300 yards? Ohio didn’t even rush for 50 yards collectively. Eric Berry’s name was seldom called as teams are too chicken shit to throw to his side of the field for fear he my disembowel the intended receiver. I know this ……Jantzen Jackson packs a whallop! Keep up the good work fellas, Sir Monty will knight each of you as he finds you worthy.

War: Go Big or Go Home!!

I am taking the time out of day to reeducate the American public, especially those of you who are against war in any form, as to what ‘war” is and is not. Here are a few irrefutable facts:

No one hates war more than a soldier or sailor. They are the ones that put their lives in danger so we may sleep comfortably in our beds at night. “A professional soldier understands that war means killing people, war means maiming people, war means families left without fathers and mothers. All you have to do is hold your first dying soldier in your arms, and have that terribly futile feeling that his life is flowing out and you can't do anything about it. Then you understand the horror of war. Any soldier worth his salt should be antiwar. And still, there are things worth fighting for. “ Gen. H. Norman Schwartzkopf




1.) War is not pretty.
2.) People, both soldier and civilian die during war.
3.) War is not easy. If it were easy, everyone would be lining up to have a war!
4.) The President of The United States is the Commander-In-Chief of the armed forces. He is the Big Cheese, thus, he gets to make difficult decisions in the best interest of the country.

Webster’s dictionary defines “war” as, “The waging of armed conflict against an enemy.”(webstersonline.com) War sucks, from beginning to end. Having said this, if, as the most powerful, best-trained military in the world, the U.S. chooses to go to war, go to WIN the damn thing! Why we continue to let the media and public opinion dictate our military tactics is beyond my grasp and comprehension. And, for the life of me, why in the hell to we continue to dump billions of dollars into military technology only to put boots on the ground in places like Afghanistan? We have unmanned planes that can drop bombs and blow shit up from hundreds of miles away, why are we going door-to-door asking questions? If you make the decision to fight, the time for discussion has passed.
Our military should be a fierce and feared thing, and should ONLY be used as a last-ditch effort to restore peace or to create peace where none currently exists. It is a caged animal, which is unleashed, should not be held back or confined to some predetermined rules of engagement. We should “play to win the game.” If you’re gonna be a bear, be a damn grizzly!! I say use any means necessary to keep my country and my family safe…….ANY means necessary. I don’t want to know about it, I don’t want to read about it in the paper, AND I DON’T WANT Oprah to have an opinion on it. Take care of business and come on back home fellas! I’ve got your back!

An "Insane" Field Trip

O.K., I know that I'm not the only one who has head about this story and wondered what in the blue hell is going in in the great Northwest.
Exhibit A: Phillip Paul Arnold, a criminally insane murderer confined to Eastern State mental institution for killing an elderly lady in 1987. He was found to be criminally insane with a heaping side order of schizophrenia. Not a very nice boy at all.
Apparently, the kind folks at Eastern State like to take the coo-coos, otherwise loving labeled as "forensic patients" by the inebriated state of Washington, on field trips, and while their........Uh, hold on! Stop the fucking train! Did I just read that the state government of Washington takes criminally insane felons on field trips?? What the hell? Yes, yes I did dear reader. I can only compose myself long enough to ask one question, "Why in the bloody hell are you, oh state of Washington, taking wackjobs to the state fair of all places?" "Are you, oh state of Washington, in fact, crazy?" "Have you been drinking the Koo-aid?"If ol' Phil is a large enough threat to the public-at-large and has to be locked up to keep himself and others safe, then why, oh why, would you take his ass to the largest public event in your state? Is it just me, or are the inmates actually running the asylum? (Yes, I know, that's more than 1 question)
Let's just spitball here for a moment.....what would happen if, say, ol' Phil's meds wore off in the middle of the damn tilt-a-whirl? What her were to peruse his way over to the "rip-off" games and take a turn at the hoop toss? You know that he would stab one of those carnies in the eye if they didn't give him the pink puppy dog stuffed animal!!!
Must I think of everything?? This, dear readers, is simply another case of the government, be it local, state, or federal spending money on stupid shit......
Better luck next time Phil.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/19/phillips-arnold-paul-insa_n_292135.html

R-E-S-P-E-C-T and The Tebow Man-crush

Job well done boys! I take back what I said earlier in the week about you gettin' your collective asses kicked! You boys went down to The Swamp, the toughest place to play in the SEC, against the #1 team in the country and played football for four quarters. (I'm standing and clapping)

U.T. held Florida to a field goal on it's first drive of the game, and confidence was gained. Tennessee then drove down the field and kicked their own field goal; more confidence gained. This game was about RESPECT. Anytime the odds-makers make you a 30-point dog, there's got to be something inside that makes you want to show them that they were mistaken. Today, the odds-makers were sadly mistaken. Well done fellas.....Wow! Had THIS offense shown up against UCLA, we could have put 30 pojnts on the board easily.

Now the Vern Lundquist and Gary Daniels and the sham that is the Tim Tebow love fest. Dear god....could these two jack-offs be anymore in love with this homo? I half expected Vern to trot down at halftime and offer Timmy fellatio free of charge. CBS should jerk these idiots off the air for no other reason than that they're so partial to Timmy. (Sorry guys, I'm pretty sure he's a virgin, maybe next year) It really made me want to projectile vomit that U.T. is out there killing themselves and literally running the ball down Florida's collective throats, and all Vern and Gary can talk about is how Tebow "never, ever fumbles..." Give me a damn break guys. Are you even watching the game? Oh that's right, you're eyes are glued to Tebow's curvaceous ass on the sidelines and you're letting your spotters call the game for you. (Vern loves it when Timmy puts the headset on!)

I just chipped a tooth grinding my teeth it makes me so sick. Anyway, it's back home to kick the shit outta' Ohio. Here's to hanging 45 on 'em.

An Early Funeral

Well....for the sake of good sportsmanship, I'm going to post this week's U.T. game day blog one day early. The reason for this is because I don't want to pile on the fellas after tomorrow's bitch slap at Florida. And make no mistake about it, that's precisely what they're going to get approximately 20 minutes after kick-off.....smacked around like a nasty crack whore. My beloved Vols are 28-point underdogs to Superman and his Justice League of fellow superheroes. I really do admire the Vols for going into The Swamp and taking their ass-kicking like men, especially after Coach Kiffin poked the sleeping bear (Urban Meyer) too many times with his verbal jabs for the sake of gaining U.T. face time on ESPN and headlines in the News Sentinel. I'm sure that it seemed worth it at the time.....but that was 8 long months ago and everybody thought that it was great and awesome that we finally had a coach that would run a little smack and not just stand on the sidelines and clap his hands. I'm one of those people....the only problem is when you run smack, you HAVE to be able to back it up or you just look like a jackass. I do believe, in time, that the Vols will be able to talk shit and back it up, but that time ain't right now. I was talking to my Dad yesterday and I told him that if U.T. gets within 21 points of Florida tomorrow, it would be a moral victory. The defense will keep us in the game for the first half, just like they have done for the past 20 years. But at the end of the day, we'll have to score some points, because UF is going to score them by the truckload! Oh....wait....I forgot that our QB has paranoid schizophrenia. My bad! Well, here's you ya' Big Orange, head south, take your ass kicking, get home safely and let's get ready to beat the hell outta' Ohio University!!! Go Nick Stephens!

P.S. I will STILL have a thing or two to say about the game after it's over. I was just bullshittin' about that whole "good sportsmanship" thing

A Dog's Life Indeed

Have you ever truly sat for a moment and thought about the life of a dog? Now I'm not talking about Michael Vick's dogs or the dogs at the local pound. Nope. I'm talking about the diva dogs that freely roam our green marble. I have had dogs most of my life and I love dogs (not so much for cats, except you Ducky!) but I must confess that I don't understand the mentality of lap dogs. I have inherited two of these mythical beasts. A Maltese-Shitzu mix named Riley, and a neurotic Yorkshire Terrier named, of all things, Fergie. The mindset of medium our to large dogs is completely different and diametrically opposed to that of lap dogs. A "dawg" (Southern slang for a REAL dog) generally lives outside in the great wide-open. Happy to make the occasional visit inside to receive a much deserved treat for not crapping on the front walkway. He is so excited to actually BE inside your beloved home, he will likely do precisely what you're about to reward him for not doing; crap right on your hardwood floors! But it's only because he is so happy to be a guest in your domain; he understands that he is, in fact, a guest. But for lap dogs, it's a different story altogether.

Lap dogs feel a sense of entitlement to you, your time, and your shit. They will play with your socks and underwear as if they were recently purchased at Pet Smart, the crack store for dogs. Your shit it their shit. My two beloved demons are no different.....the neurotic Yorkie demands the spotlight when she enters the room, regardless of who else may be in the room. Could be the Pope, Elvis, or Johnny Carson; doesn't matter. And if, in the off chance that she does not receive the fully spotlight that she feels she deserves, she will park her petite little ass right at your feet and YAP! YAP! YAP! all the live-long day. (lap dogs do not bark, they YAP!) She is figuratively and often literally so far up her momma's hind parts, she's not really sure which way is up.

The Maltese-Shitzu mix, Riley, is a bit more laid back, as lap dogs go. He chases flies that aren't really there, and often he will catch one. He's a pretty boy and the apple of his momma's eye, especially when he barks at the least little sound at 11:30 at night. He's SUCH a good guard dog! Or not......

These are my dogs. I told a neighbor, while walking the Yorkie the other day, "I hope to have a real dog when I grow up." He got a kick out of it as he walked his 80-pound chocolate Lab. I do love my dogs though. They are good people.....because they THINK they ARE people.

Kanye West Is A Complete Moron

Kanye West is a moron of the highest order......That's it.

The Honeymoon Is Over

Well.....I wish that I could say that I was shocked at the outcome of Saturday's debacle against UCLA in Neyland Stadium, but I'm really not. If I didn't know any better I'd think that Fat Phil was roaming the sidelines once again with he play-calling that Lane Kiffin ran on offense. (or is that offence?) Jonathon Cromton sigle-handedly GAVE the game to the young upstart Bruins. With a lost fumble and not one, not two, but THREE interceptions, he kept UCLA in the game when they shoud have easily beaten this team by the required 7-10 points. It would seem that the offense is once again anemic, with the QB play lacking in al areas of the position. Crompton has all the tools you want in a big time QB, strong arm, good mobility, and decent touch. But what he's missing is comething that cannot be taught; he's a damn basket case!!! After his second pick, the cameras panned over to find him sitting on the bench puting. What the fuck?

"Dear Jonathon,

You are the starting QB for the University of Tennessee. You ARE the leader of the offense, if not the entire team. You do not get to have a pity party on national T.V. The fans do not care if Gerald Jones can't run a route correctly, or if he slipped on a sore ankle, the interceptions go to your stats, not his. It is YOUR responsibility to make certain that the dumbass center knows what count to snap the ball on, and to make certain the receivers run the correct route. THIS is what you signed up for when you came here. Now we all understand that this is your 4th offensive coordinator in four years....blah, blah, blah. Cry me a freakin' river!!! Nobody cares Jonathon! Make plays against teams your should make plays against; win the game, and go home. If you can't tell somebody in charge that you no longer want the spotlight and move the fuck out of the way."

I am a bit stunned that Coach Kiffin did not put in Nick Stephens yesterday. How much worse could it get? Crompton has the mental stbility of a crack whore, and it was apparent to everyone BUT Kiffin that he was done after the 2nd interception yesterday. This lack of a move tells me that he has little ot no confidence in Stephen's ability to lead the offense. And since we seem completely incapable of recruiting a QB that can trow the football from here to there to someone in an Orange jersey,we're completely screwed for the foreseeable future. God only knows that Tebow and The Urban Legand are going to do to us next week. Yep, I think it's safe to say that the honeymoon's officially over for Kiffin and his band of merry men.

Family......

What constitutes a family? The most basic definition that I could locate, as found in Webster's dictionary is, "A social unit living together.' Not a very functional definition, but a loose one nonetheless.

I spent this past weekend with my Dad, Aunt, Fiance', and my Dad's "lady friend in the North Georgia mountains and I came to the realization that my family is awesome! Now.....I've always known this in the back of my mind, but we've gone through some changes within the past couples of years. Two rather nasty divorces, an engagement (mine!), and the death of my sweet mother, Linda. And as I sat and watched my family interact with one another and people with whom they socialize, there were a couples of things that became very real to me. First, a family loves you no matter what! It's a pretty cool things, actually. I'm fairly certain that they don't HAVE to love you but they do. And quite often they love YOU in spite of YOU!!! Now I've done some pretty stupid things in my life (none of which landed me in the pokey, I'm happy to say), but my immediate family has never failed to be there for me. Even when I wed the wrong woman 16 years ago, they stood buy my decision, even though it turned out to be the worst decision I've to this point in my life. (I feel a tear coming on...) Now my family is certainly not perfect, by anyone's definition of the word, but their MINE and I love each and everyone of them.

I appreciate the members of my family that continue to love me unconditionally, even though it's not always the easiest thing to do. For those members of my family that follow my blog......I love you, even though I probably don't tell you often enough.

Cb

Top 10 Fights That I’d Like To See in The UFC

1. Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic vs. Andrei “The Pitbull” Arlovski
- Cro Cop is 2-2 in his last 4 UFC appearances and is scheduled to fight on the undercard at UFC 102. Arlovski’s career is on life support after brutal losses to Fedor and a 22-second K.O. to Brett Smith, Fedor’s next victim….um….I mean opponent. Cro Cop’s kicks against Arlovski’s punching power would make for a good fight.

2. Anderson “The Spider” Silva vs. Brock Lesnar
- The Spider wants to be challenged, so I say let’s challenge his ass! Throw him in there with the monster that is Brock Lesnar and let him feel what a true heavyweight punch feels like. True, Silva does have a unique style that has yet to be figured out inside the Octagon, but he’s never been hit square……Sleep tight princess.

3. Kimbo Slice vs. Brock Lesnar
- Yes, yes, I know…..Kimbo got KTFO by Seth Petrucelli, but this guy has one punch knock out power and Lesnar will need a LARGE individual to challenge him in the very near future. Kimbo is large enough to bang with Lesnar, but IF Lesnar decides to go to the ground, Kimbo will immediately do his best turtle impersonation and get destroyed.

4. Tito Ortiz vs. Matt “The Hammer” Hamill
- This showdown between two world-class wrestlers may make for a boring fight to some, but the chess match between two wrestlers of this caliber should be very interesting. Tito is a better all-around fighter, but Hamill has sledgehammers for fists and can dominate if he gets in amounted position. (Not that anyone is going to challenge my boy Lyoto Machida anytime soon)

5. Brandon “The Truth” Vera vs. Anderson “The Spider” Silva
- This would be an amazing fight at 205. Silva wants to be challenged and after his ass-kicking at the hands of Lesnar, he could drop down to lightheavy and fight Vera. Vera looked at one time to be complete in his MMA game, but after suffering a defeat to Keith Jardine you’re never really certain which “Truth” will show up. Silva has cleaned out the middleweight division and is bouncing around. I honestly just want to get this guy is remaining 2 or 3 fights on his UFC contract, get him out of town and let him go get his ass kicked by Roy Jones, Jr.

6. George “Rush” St. Pierre vs. Chris “Lights Out” Lytle
- St. Pierre has done to the welterweight division what Silva has done to the middleweight division…..clean house! He has no real challenges in the foreseeable future and Lytle should be next in line. The UFC currently uses Lytle as a gatekeeper to the welterweight division. You need to get past him to proceed any further within the division. Meanwhile, he is racking up win after win. There’s no doubt that St. Pierre is worlds ahead of Lytle from nearly every aspect in the MMA game…..except for one, striking. Lytle throws his punches from left field, which would likely set him up for a high kick to the head, to a takedown and ground/pound. But I will ALWAYS cheer for guys with one-pinch KO power, because until the final bell rings, they’re never completely out of the fight.

7. George “Rush” St. Pierre vs. Dan Hardy
- I think this will be a fight we will see in the not-too-distant-future. Hardy is a Brit that mainly fights across the pond, but has a couple of fights inside the Octagon. He has excellent striking and ground skills, but is a bit smaller than St. Pierre, but so is everyone else in the UFC. Hardy has a granite chin and excellent BJJ skills, but cannot stand and trade kicks with Rush. This one would be worth paying to see in a main event.

8. BJ Penn vs. Tyson Griffin
- “The Prodigy” has shown he is the man to beat at 155. He completely dismantled Sean Shirk a few months back, and tapped out Kenny Florian a month ago. Tyson Griffin is a world-class wrestler with very good strikes, but he doesn’t seem to exhibit the submission skills that BJ possesses. Griffin has had wars with the likes of Clay Guida, and Eddie Gonzalez and come out on top. His battle with Guida won “fight of the night” honors. BJ would be too much for him in the end, but the fight would force BJ to take his conditioning (always suspect) to another level.

9. Fedor Emilienko vs. Any heavyweight in the UFC
- Fedor has chosen not to sign with the UFC, clearly the best fighters in the world fight inside the Octagon. While Fedora beats on his competition in Strikeforce like a redneck beats his “dawg”, he will rack up meaningless victories against “no-names” that can’t cut it in the UFC. Fans of the sport want to see Fedora fight the best…..and the best do not reside in Strikeforce. Fedor is a pussy!

10. Cheick Kongo vs. Cain Velasquez
- This would a be an excellent fight between two up-and-coming fighters in the heavyweight division. Velasquez destroyed Gabriel Gonzaga, who previously looked unbeatable. Kongo handily beat Mirko Cro Cop while bearly breaking a sweat. Kongo doesn’t have near the ground game that Velasquez does, being a national champion wrestler in college. The striking would likely go to Kongo, but the guy looks like a turtle when he’s on his back.

Make it happen Dana!!!!!